Surely not I?

         “Truly I tell you,
         one of you will betray me,
         one who is eating with me.”
          … “Surely, not I?”
                           —Mark 14.18-19

           

    
Surely.
I would never betray you, never deny you.
         Surely?

Beloved,
give me the faith to doubt
        my righteousness.

Give me the assurance to question,
to examine myself honestly,
         to ask.

Give me the confidence to wonder
how I might betray your perfect love,
         to see.

Give me grace to confess
how my promises are broken, my heart
         broken.

Give me the peace to be troubled
by my smugness,
         and repent.

Open my eyes to see that you see,
you know, and knowing, you keep right on
         eating with me.
 

   —March 27, 2018