Thomas' prayer

         Jesus said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands.
                  Reach out your hand and put it in my side.
                  Do not doubt but believe."

         Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!"
                  —John 20.27-28


I don't want proof.
I want Jesus.

I don't need pious beliefs,
a palace of certainty.

I just want you,
whether or not I know it.

Not my feeling,
but your presence.

Let my reaching be my faith,
my hunger for you, my wisdom;

my unknowing be my looking,
my doubt my journey.

I would rather always wonder
than lose my longing for you,

my Lord, and my God,
my Presence, my Beloved.