My golden calf

Dearly Beloved, Grace and Peace to you.                                    O God, my golden calf is my self: this “me” that I worship and defend, the self that controls me, that I serve above all other gods. I am my own highest power.

I am obsessed with how I appear to myself, to others, and especially to the God I imagine, who is a projection of my self. My religion is being good enough, either smug that I am or despairing that I'm not, always desperately trying to be.

I can't crush the idol and be done with it. Every day I face the idol of my self, what it wants, how it thinks, how it moves me. Only You can set me free.

O Love, set me free. Lead me out of Egypt. I surrender my self and my captivity to it. I turn my heart to You and your steady love. I let your love set my course, guide me, move me. I step out of myself and come to you as your Beloved, helpless and adoring as an infant.

I am a beam of your love. Apart from you I am nothing, but in you I am light. Your love is my constant, my all, my life. Your love is the very stuff of my self. My self is not an image of me, but of you: I am the image of your love, fashioned by you, alive in this world by your grace. You alone are my God. You Are. You.

          Deep Blessings, Pastor Steve

__________________ Steve Garnaas-Holmes Unfolding Light www.unfoldinglight.net

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